When will my ex-boyfriend stop messing me around?

I had been in a relationship with X for nearly 4 years until a whole array of issues convinced me to end it. Firstly, it was that we grew as people and I felt that I no longer liked the person he had become. He stopped being loving and attentive and started being snappy and arrogant, constantly belittling me in front of his friends. He made everything I said into a joke to get a reaction from his friends, Ironically those who had not wanted to know him at the beginning of our relationship. I had been a shoulder to cry on from day one; his parents split in the beginning and I offered all the support that I could, from being at his house everyday to spending all of my money to get him to forget about it by distracting him (cinema, meals etc) and yet it was never reciprocated. For his birthday, i arranged a surprise meal with his family ,split parents included, and all of his 'friends' even the ones that had been bitter and cruel towards him to cheer him up. In return he promised to do the same for my birthday in a month and organise it for me, however, when the time came he hadn't bothered and admitted that he had simply not bothered. He never bothered for the next 3 years and I didn't receive anything. He couldn't be bothered with anything apparently; I did the phoning, I went to his house and I made the plans for us to do things together. Eventually the last straw was when we went away for a weekend with his friends camping to a festival and I was petrified of fire, they kept burning things and he continued to make suggestions about wanting to burn things. I know it's a male impulse to want to fit in but I would have thought he wanted to help me and support my phobia rather than push it further. He pestered me for in the tent, I really didn't want to because we were literally on top of other tents and they would have heard everything and he then spent the rest of the festival in a mood with me. I had enough of his lack of help, support and just general interest in me or our relationship and yet he acted surprised when I had ended it. Was I wrong to do this to him or was it justified ? is there a reason why he feels like I betrayed him? HELP!